Halloween 2012

Happy Halloween!!!

This year Bridger is almost 2.5 years old. I knew it would be different this year, but I wasn't expecting Bridger to be so scared. And I surely thought that he would go trick or treating. We started the night out at the fall festival at the church up the road. Our friends go to church there and invited us. They had little games everywhere and a cute little map made up so you would know where everything was. Bridger was SO excited that Kyler was there. He talked about him non stop before we met up with them. However as soon as we met up with them Bridger became shy. He didn't want to participate in anything. He finally warmed up after awhile and was running around with Kyler. They were so cute together, and they were both pirates! How adorable! His mom and I joke all the time that we are soul sisters. We seriously do everything the same or buy the same outfits for our kids, or have the same ideas, and at the same times. It is hilarious. We were laughing when we both found out that we dressed our boys as pirates. Malori (Kylers mom) entered her newest baby into the costume contest. He was a little bear and my goodness he was SO adorable! And he won first place! While they were doing that inside, we had the boys outside playing on the play yard. Bridger actually went down the big slide as well. I say "big" but it is bigger than any other slide he's been on. It took him a long time to go down it. he had to climb it himself first, with no help, then go down. After awhile he finally did it! He was pretty scared and nervous about all of the games though. all the events. I figured it has to be his age mixed with the huge crowd. We all know my little one is SO NOT shy. He was so cute. Even sweet little Camden "the cow" came by. He is SO adorable! Beautiful little boy. I don't think he likes his costume. But I loved it.

We left there after a little bit because we wanted to take Bridger trick or treating. As we were driving down our main street we were so shocked by the amount of kids! Everywhere! We have never lived anywhere where there were a lot of trick or treaters. It was insane. cars parked along the streets. Ryan then remembered that the neighbors told us that they come by the car loads, which was SO true. We parked the car in the driveway and jumped out and started walking down our own street to take Bridger trick or treating. He is so little we figured we would do a quick swoop down our own street and then hand out candy. The first house we went to - no go. That was the same for the next 6 houses. Bridger wanted NO part of collecting candy. He would scream. He was scared. He was shy. He was not having any of it. Then after we walked by the neighbors house they had some scary masks on and was "sharping their knife" on the concrete...Bridger lost it. It was hilarious. poor baby. We went home. We only made it down our culd-a-sac. We sat and handed out candy after and almost ran out! It was crazy. As soon as we got home he started saying "trick or treat" over and over. ha. He is so cute. He helped us hand out candy. He was such a good little boy tonight. and guess what, he wore his costume!!!!! Yay! I'm so proud of my sweet baby!

Maybe next year he will finally have the hang of trick or treating. I hope so, I can't wait to take him to collect all that candy and have him love all that scary stuff. My sweet pirate is now snuggled up and sleeping away.

Pumpkin Patch

Last night we finally made it to the pumpkin patch. Procrastinators much? I'd say so! We for some reason couldn't get it scheduled. Also - I wanted it to be cold. We finally forced ourselves to go last night. We didn't get our family picture, but more importantly I got my baby with pumpkins!

 

The beginning he was so shy and wouldn't go near the pumpkins. Once he finally warmed up - he was everywhere! And the patch was actually packed. We were going to dinner at Ryan's moms afterwards so we didn't really take a long time, but also  - there were no pumpkins. ha. Bridger just kept running back and forth from pumpkin to pumpkin. The only way we finally got out of there was because I had to give Bridger my phone so he could play games. He is such a silly boy. I love the way he says "punkeens"

 

 

 

AdvoCare

A week ago today, a friend of mine and I started the AdvoCare 24 day challenge. It took many discussions and a lot of thinking before we made the decision to invest. I loved everything about the AdvoCare products and what it entailed, however it was a little bit more pricier than I had wanted to spend in the beginning. After learning everything about it, I was sold and we made our first order. Ryan and I also decided that we want to try to sell it. I am not sure if we will be able too or not as we have to reach certain goals by certain times, we are trying and I hope it works. There are alot of extras by selling this for us. It could be a good thing and we are really interested in it.

So we received our products.

 

This is both of our orders so it looks like alot. We also received a distributors kit as Ryan and I signed up to be distributors, basically getting our product at a discount. So with this program, the first 10 days is a cleansing phase. We take some omega pills twice a day and then a pill called Catalyst that basically helps keep our muscle mass and not the fat. We have fiber drinks for some mornings and a probiotic pill for other mornings and every night a herbal cleanse pill. We also received a drink mix called spark that works as a replacement for our Dr Pepper's or coffee. I love it!! Also included was meal replacements, I ordered the vanilla and it is so good. I love it! Our 10 day cleansing phase ends Wednesday. The next 14 days is basically putting those nutrients back into our body with a series of maybe 14 pills we take. I haven't done the greatest on this as we are suppose to eat NO processed food. That is extremely hard. Everything is freaking processed! We had to do alot of research and thinking meals up so we don't get bored. My friend is doing much better at it and did way more research than I have. In the first 3 days she lost an inch. After 5 days she lost 5 lbs. I have lost 2. This works as a great weight loss product if you do it correctly, as my friend is doing so amazing!! She is dedicated and its showing! i can't wait to see where she is at the end of this 24 days.

 

This has given me tons of energy and I love it. I am overall even happier than usual! I didn't think that was possible. I am loving the way it makes me feel. Eating healthy is very important in your life. So many of us don't do it because it is harder to stick too and it is so much easier to go get fast food, but that definitely isn't healthy. I can't wait to report at the end of this.

Mommy and B time....

This past weekend Ryan had a trip planned with the guys down to the cabin. It isn't opening weekend yet, but usually a great weekend to head down and search out the Nilgai, which are legal right now. It was also youth weekend so Ryan's brother brought his son. Friday morning Ryan had an appt with the dentist to do a root canal and filings I believe. There was no way i could get off work to go with him, luckily they said he would be fine to drive after. I felt horrible not being able to go with him, but I just couldn't get off work, people were off and I had to be there to help cover their desks.

He got his teeth work done and dropped off his meds, got gas in the boats, bought some groceries and beer of course. They headed out about an hour before I got off work, and I missed seeing them off. Boo. He was really excited about this first trip to the cabin for the season. There is alot of work to be done on the cabin, but they love going down and doing what they do...fish...hunt...drink..cook, making fun of each other.

This weekend was full Bridger and mommy mode! I was excited to have this whole weekend alone with him. We love love our family time on our weekends more than anything, but I also love that alone time with Bridger. He is completely different with just one parent. He listens better and is a complete sweet heart the majority of the time. It seems as though when we are both around he likes to test us more often than not.

Friday after work I picked up Bridger and we headed to the mall. I was on a mission. Find Bridger new shoes. His feet are so wide and fat. most the shoes I had from last season no longer fit him. It is already a task in itself to get him winter shoes as he doesn't like change, and is love with his sandals right now. He was a little rowdy during the duration of our little shopping trip, but we made it through. We got him some new shoes and pants. We made it back home and had time to snuggle and even played for a little bit. He went to bed a little later than usual, but I thoroughly enjoyed that extra time with him. When i finally made my way to bed at 1 am, I went to his bedroom and grabbed him up and took him to bed with me, I wanted to snuggle my baby boy all night. I was so happy that he let me. Morning time however....was a different story. He wasn't so sweet. Poking my eye. hitting me. pulling my hair. scratching me, just non stop. he was being a handful for sure. but i loved it. We even laid in bed for awhile before getting up and starting our day. It consisted of more cleaning and more shopping.

Bridger was cute this weekend, telling me all morning "I want go Bye bye" then once we were out and about it turned into "I want go home, Mama" randomly he told me that he wanted to go thru the car wash. He is so scared of the car wash. I guess now he loves it. Also, he loves music like his mama, he told me numerous times "Put that up Mama" - he is talking about the radio. This makes me laugh. He likes to jam.

We had a good weekend and did a couple other things. We also went to church, which was a good service. Talking about always praising god even in the darkest or hardest times of our life. I guess I never thought of it that way before. So many times we are always focused on why or what. I'm excited for next weekend as it is the start of a segment on relationships.

We were so excited to see Daddy Sunday! Bridger asked about him all weekend long. He even told me numerous times during the day "call daddy" he cried and said "I miss daddy mama" He had a hard time with daddy being gone. Poor baby. Sadly, he needs to gets used to as daddy goes to the cabin a lot during this time of year.

Here are some snaps from our weekend. I love this kid! He is simply amazing!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ronan is still working miracles!

I just sat down and watched the Katie Couric Show from this Thursday. Maya Thompson and her husband were guests on it. I knew it would be sad, I knew I would cry. I am so happy to see her getting the word out about Childhood Cancer. I was so impressed with them and their composure. I especially love her blog post after the show aired saying how she should have said this or that, and these true harsh feelings of a grieving mother, but instead held it all together and did amazing. I don't think I could. I don't think I would. I'm extremely happy that the word is finally getting out about childhood cancer - but it still breaks my heart that this is their new normal. A life without Ronan physically here. I can't stop thinking about him and his story. or Super Ty's story. It is so devastating to learn about these kids going through this journey, and not only having to take this path, but to have only a limited number of drugs to fight this bastard cancer, only to have it also deteriorating everything else left of them, except their spirits and personalities. Its horrifying. Its unacceptable. It shouldn't be. I can go one minute being perfectly fine and thinking how amazing it is that Maya is moving the mountains that she is, to completely losing it and wondering why? Why did Ronan have to go thru this? Why did/do these other little kids have to go thru this. Why does cancer even exist. Why do kids get cancer. Why doesn't anyone see it? Why isn't their more funding. Why is it OK to watch these children fight for their lives when they don't even know what is going on!?! Makes no friggin sense to me. I know it won't ever. I want it to though. I hate when I don't "get" things. There is always an answer to everything. Where is this answer?

I cannot wait to see everything unfold for the Thompson family and all that they have worked for and towards...but they HAD to work for this. they had to fight back like hell on wheels. They are choosing this fight, it isn't something natural that you just do. This is their choice and I commend them. I'm not sure i would ever even be able to get out of bed. She hasn't ever stopped fighting. This is ugly. This is hard. Takes a really determined, dedicated, strong willed, big hearted bad ass person to fight this fight. I'm glad she is in the drivers seat.

I love that I am now aware of this information on childhood cancer. I am one more person helping spreading the word. I didn't think my word would make a difference. I can't think like that. Someone is listening. I don't think I have really ever been completely supportive of something before - as to wanting to join the steps, the fight, the dirty work. I usually like to sit back and watch. for the first time ever, I'd love to to help!! I feel moved to. I'm just now struggling with what and how....for starters...talking about it. That's how it reeled me in - I can 100% share with others, and lord knows i love to talk. I can just talk about Ronan and his story and all the other little kids that have fought. the facts. the disappointing facts. Everyone needs to be aware. What parent wouldn't feel compelled to help, to donate to these little lives that are here fighting, and not because they didn't do something in particular, but just because you were dealt a shitty hand. unpredictable. no discrimination. no warning. I pray each day I'm not dealt this shitty hand, I pray each day less and less families aren't dealt this shitty hand. Its not fair. It scares me so much. It pains me to know what these kids go through.

I thought it was so weird in the beginning that I was so hurt by Ronan's story, and cried about it, and followed it everyday, I didn't want to talk about it because I felt out of place to, it wasn't my story, it wasn't someone I knew...I went back and read every post made from the beginning, but I now see I am not the only one. It seems like everyone that comes across rockstarronan.com is moved, cries, and wants to help. That is amazing. I no longer feel the need to hide what I am so deeply moved by. I wonder if I will ever be able to talk about his story without holding back the million of tears that form as I'm speaking.

If you haven't yet - go donate theronanthompsonfoundation.com

I'm just counting down the years, months, weeks, days until Maya and Woody open their world class Neuroblastoma care and research center. I'm just so so sorry Ronan isn't here. I wish he were.

Blessed

Pretty much loving this boy. I sat and watched some old videos of Bridger tonight. It's amazing how young he still looked when we first moved back. I thought he was SO big. No. He still had Chubb in his cheeks. Arms. Legs. Awe my baby was so precious. Is.

I especially like the the one I caught of him taking steps at 11 months. It's so sweet and adorable. I am sad though as the videos from when he was real little are on my old computer which crashed when Bridger was around 10 months. We think the pictures and videos can be saved, we just haven't taken it in. I need to take it in and get those. They are so special and one of a kind. Plus I would love to see my sweet bug in such a young phase. The videos make me laugh because even then- you could totally tell his stubborn personality. Short. Whining. Non stop movement. That's my boy!!!

I plan on putting them all in order and making DVDs from it. They mostly are all short little DVDs so I don't want to make 300 separate DVDs. I also have some other projects that I want to work on and finish. All in due time. Some are very special memories I always want to have.

Bridger told me his belly hurt today. I'm not sure if it really did or if he is saying that because he was constipated for a few days and I had my daycare lady keep an eye on him. When he finally went she may have made a big deal over it and he just rolled with it. I'm going to keep my eye on him. He told me about 3 times tonight. Hope he isn't getting sick.

I love him more than anything........

Tired boy!

Since Bridger didn't get much sleep this weekend I knew it would be a difficult one. I even tried to put him down just a little bit past his bedtime Saturday night. As soon as we pulled up to the house and walked in, I heard a knock at the door. What the?! Who is that? Nobody called and said they were coming over and we JUST got home. It was the neighbor. She invited us down the street to the other neighbors to hang out and they were cooking. Bridger was running like a mad man- going crazy. Ryan said sure we can for a bit.
I thought it would be ok because Bridger gets to meet the other kids and maybe have some friends. He was SO shy! He wouldn't talk to anyone for the longest time. And....he was tired. Finally he warmed up and we all sit outside chatting and laughing. I decided at 10 I HAD to put him down. He fought me the whole way inside! Biting me, pulling my hair and screaming while I was bathing him. I so knew better but yet still let him stay up. I hate when I do that. We finally got him down. I knew the next day wouldn't be much better.

When I tried to put Bridger for a nap Saturday he was screaming and being out of control. I couldn't make him feel better. I let him be. I went back 5-10 mins later and had to peek in on him. ( I haven't yet set up the monitor from when Isabella was here). I open to the door and find him sitting at the end of his bed, the only place he can because of the bed rails, etc. my heart broke immediately. He was sitting hunched over crying to himself. I wish I could've taken a picture....it was so pitiful looking. I went over quickly to him and gave him lots of hugs and kisses and he was more receptive. We snuggled and I got him to nap. What a sweet boy. I just felt so so sad for him.

Sunday he did ok with a few spastic actions, but he did good and took a 3+ hour nap! He needed it.

I hate keeping my baby up late or not on schedule and man so does he. I love my sweet lovable boy that doesn't scream over any and everything. He can't help it. Mamas gotta do better! Going to try!!

Under the weather

I had started feeling bad about 2 weeks ago. My initial thought was, as always - great, another sinus infection. I am so used to these since having Bridger. Every fall/winter they come around and don't ever want to leave. It kills me. I am miserable. Last year I didn't have insurance due to the moving cities and starting a new job. No doctor visits for me. Just toughen it out. The year before for some reason the doctor wasn't giving me the right meds or something because I was horrible and ended up with pleurisy. It is so not fun. I don't wish that on anyone. It is miserable and kind of scary if you don't know that is what you have, like i didn't. It took me going to the ER with test and lots of xrays to figure it out. AND - nothing we could do for it. Had to go away on its own.

I never had any kind of issues pre-Bridger. It is simply amazing how your body changes, everything changes. Now - I have horrible sinus's and can't seem to stay on top of taking over the counter drugs. I finally went to the doctor as the pressure was so insane I needed to go. Ryan called me that morning wondering if I had set an appt. Our doctor didn't have anything till the next day, so I had to schedule with another doctor that I had previously seen. Ryan said "Oh, well I think i am going to go with you, I need to be seen too". I was like really? All of a sudden you are sick too?

Turns out - that weekend he was playing with Bridger and we all know how hyper and crazy B can get. He likes to ram into full force, which is exactly what he did to his daddy the day before - right smack into his nose. Instant nose bleed. I guess Ryan didn't think anything of it and went on about his day. He complained of a headache - but that was about it. Once he went to work that morning everyone kept commenting on his nose that it looked broken. This is a shock to Ryan and he was laughing about it, but decided to get it checked out anyway.

I thought ok. Booked us both an appt. We went - got checked out. I have a virus and a underlying sinus infection. My entire neck - the lymph nodes are swollen and tender. I was like really? I only felt the sinus. I was happy to get a shot in my booty and get some antibiotics called in! Now Ryan - the doctor looks at him and the first thing he said as he was checking him out "this looks suspicious" I just died laughing. I was like seriously? Are we being serious right now? My 2 year old did not break his daddy's nose. He sent him for xrays. I got my shot - and also found out I have eczema. Who knew! I thought it was psoriasis...haha...that is what i get for going on web md as Ryan says. My elbows always have a horrible horrible outbreak during winter - and its already started. Nope - just eczema, slather some of this cream on it and you will be great! Thanks doc.

In walks the doctor, "Yep - that's what it is!" a broken nose Ryan asks. "Yep!" haha, I started laughing, and couldn't stop. How in world did you not know your nose was broke? What in the world? Ryan was laughing also - I swear I'm not heartless. I just found it so funny he didn't realize it that night, or that next morning until his co-workers were pushing him to go in to the doctor.

Since Ryan's side of his face has been rebuilt due to his 4wheeler accident in 2004 - the doctor didn't want to touch him. He referred us to a ENT and we went on our way. Ryan went to the ENT a couple days later- they said no "break" but a fracture - or crack...nothing as major as it sounded and they were going to do nothing about it. So - in all. He was fine! It is still a little bruised...and we got a great laugh out of it. But he will be fine and I will be fine too! we will live. =) Now to make sure my little love doesn't get sick.

how could he possible even hurt his daddy?! He is too sweet!! He was so sorry.

Flour Bluff High School

Ryan and I both attended Flour Bluff High School. I can't say that I loved high school or that it was the best time ever. It was definitely fun and such a different experience, once you grow up - its never the same. I remember always saying I couldn't wait to be out of high school. My parents were strict and it was just a lot of drama that really isn't fun. I enjoyed my time though, made the best out of it. I knew Ryan in high school and didn't really care for him too much. haha, funny how things work out. I just remember him always being mean to my boyfriends. What in the world? It is hard to remember alot of thing about high school because it was so long ago, and I enjoy life much better after high school! I can actually CHOOSE who i want to be around and center myself around people that I truly care about.

Fast forward.....Ryan's little sister is now a senior at Flour Bluff High school. She is cheerleader and has been since junior high. She and her group of friends are close and do everything together. it really is bitter sweet watching them all. They are having so much fun this last year of their high school days. I really can't believe that it went this fast. I swear she was just 7! 7 and being attached to her mama's hip. Or even 11 and wanting to hang out with Ryan and I all the time. Where did that little girl go?! she has turned out to be an amazing young woman and I know she will succeed and do wonderful in her life. She has a great head on her shoulders and has morals. Which now a days - not alot of high school girls do. She is joy and has a great heart. She is hilarious and a smart ass! She is a girl version of Ryan as I like to say. She is a blast.

Since Bridger is still little it is harder to do things. Like - attend a football game. We try to always make homecoming week events to support her. This year we missed the parade because we were at the doctors office so late. We decided to hit up the football game and see how Bridger did. It was packed, obviously! It was also much more humid than I thought or expected OR wanted. Bridger was so scared when we went to walk up the bleachers....people were everywhere, cheering going on, yelling, screaming, laughing just non stop of commotion. We had to stop and talk Bridger into going up into the bleachers. He was so quiet for so long taking it all in. We were in the nose bleed. dangy! I didn't get to get pictures of Katelynn cheering as it was SO packed. The football team was doing amazing and beating the crap out of the opposing team - hard to not watch that either. Half time rolled around...Katelynn came up and grabbed Bridger to take him off to see her friends, or whatever it is that 17 year olds do with their nephews. We went to get Ryan's mom a drink at the concession stand and decided it was time to head out. We went to search for our baby, who was found happily on Katelynn's friends shoulder! ha. He is so funny. He is so shy but once he warms up - he is in it! He didn't want to leave with us! The only way we got him out of there was because the band people scared him. I think it was those huge pieces they wear on their heads. That has got to be hard and annoying! Especially in the heat!

 

Saturday night was the homecoming dance. I always go and take the pictures for Katelynn. They always go with their group and this year was no different. Hope she had an amazing time at her very last homecoming dance!