Trouble at Daycare

So Bridger has had a rough couple weeks or week I should say at daycare.

 

A few weeks ago he came home 3 different times with bite marks in various areas, one being on his face next to his eye that bruised a little. I didn’t say much because I know this happens at this age and these little guys are either teething, or thinking they are playing. I didn’t angry or mad, I just let it go and hoped it wouldn’t happen anymore.

 

Well, this past week Bridger has become the biter. He and another little girl do not get along supposedly, and she is who bit him and he has now started biting her. He also bit the teacher one day. We have had several discussions on this and what to do. I can’t discipline him at home because well, he isn’t doing it at home. I can’t correct him when I pick him up because that isn’t fair – it needs to be addressed immediately. Although it sounds bad, we have bit Bridger back before (not hard) but for him to get the point that biting is not ok. Obviously daycare can’t do that to teach him and I am not sure if that is the correct procedure anyway.

 

Monday morning I was called into the director’s office to discuss his problem. For some reason momma bear came out and I was pretty upset when I left. I’m not by any means stating it is ok to bite, because it isn’t. For some reason I feel as if he has the big finger at him at all times, maybe I’m missing the picture, but just the way they talk to me about it and him….and how they always mention how he is “overly active” and the “loudest screamer” and he can’t sit still long, etc. like they really don’t like him or they are all around bothered by him. Just an overall negative vibe. Again, just my own feelings and I could be viewing it wrong, and I’m really trying hard not to. I have talked to them, all of them and discussed discipline measures that could help Bridger….after all consistency is what’s important. They don’t “discipline” at his daycare. I don’t expect them to spank him of course, but a simple time out, something he is very well known to at home, could be followed thru at daycare as well. I am not sure how they are handling the situation because I am not there, but obviously what is happening in reaction to him biting isn’t working. We have addressed it at home and were successful, so something is definitely not happening at daycare.

 

I’m not trying to just defend my child, but I feel as if they should be helping a little bit more trying to fix this issue and helping him learn right from wrong….. My child is with them 10 hours a days and only with me not even 3 hours.(awake). I’m fully relying on his day providers to help teach him and guide him in the correct direction and put time and effort into helping each and every child and reiterate and teach what I am already trying to install him him. After all, if you have a daycare isn’t that your goal, isn’t that what you are set up to do? You are helping in forming his future with us, the parents.

 

They have mentioned how he is the only one in the class that acts up, cries and throws tantrums. Every child is different, and every child needs different methods of correction. Not every daycare, or school, or homecare will want to take the time and effort to do that. That is what I am analyzing now. Some fits just aren’t good. As much as I loved this daycare, maybe it just isn’t a good fit for him. Not anyone’s fault, just happens.

 

Ever since Bridger was born we knew he had our hands full, he never wanted to sit still and always wanted to see what was going on….never wanted to be confined to anything or kept in tight places.

I feel as if people that do not have children like my own, do not fully understand children like Bridger…or understand that you really need different tactics!  At least I believe that from what I have seen. They think it is either bad parenting or maybe something else, but mostly bad parenting and I have experienced this myself as well until I had one of those “kids”.  Maybe my parenting isn’t up to par, I am a first time mommy.

But this little boy is 100% headstrong and sometimes hard to handle. I do not want to spend his childhood spanking him every single time he throws a tantrum or acts out…because it would be often. He isn’t “bad” but he isn’t calm or interested in what anyone has to say. I fully believe in discipline and we do discipline but not all things may work. Each kid has different things that work best….I do not want an out of control little boy, but I am needing some good info and good advice that we haven’t yet tried that very well could get thru to him. Some children you can just warn them and tell them “that isn’t nice”, Bridger could care less. His attention span is a couple minutes….he can’t focus or even listen to what you are saying..most kids get it. Not him. That is where the different tactics come in. He doesn’t sit on your lap and look around, he doesn’t let you read him a book, he doesn’t stay quiet and just watch, he is 100% fully engaged with everything going on…constantly talking his talk, screaming to be heard, or getting frustrated because he can’t talk. Wanting to be in the middle of what’s going on and on the move if he is awake.

 

Maybe I am just defending him and need to be hard on him all the time. Just seems so harsh for a 16month old, maybe us the parents need to snap out of it. I don’t want to be blinded by any means. Possibly it is our fault.

 

I have gotten a book called The Happiest Toddler on the Block, I haven’t had the chance to read it but I have got to make the time to sit down and read it. Something very valuable could be in there and could possibly be the best info for us yet.

 

Overall I am frustrated at daycare, at the fact that I feel as if it is my fault he is acting up in class, although this is 100% his personality, but maybe I just keep using that excuse and am not disciplining enough. I don’t want to constantly be correcting my child the entire time he is awake and spanking him the entire day….I want him to be happy and have a happy childhood. Time to get searching in different ways to help your child. Hope I can find something helpful, I don’t want my sweet baby being kicked out of daycare. =)

 

Update: Bridger has had a better week this week.He got bit yesterday...see he isn't the only biter!! He also got into a little scuffle and hit another child.......

 He bit another child today as a result of the kid trying to take a book from him. They said Bridger is talking a lot more and responding so much better to them re-correcting him. I think he is feeling better and his daddy has been home this week which I am sure is helping him as well.

I am guessing they are trying different tactics finally and realizing what I am saying about being able to discipline is him differently or approach him differently.

I hope he can continue to have a good week and not have anymore issues! Fingers crossed!