1 year ago

I can't believe just 1 year ago I had an infant! Now I have a head strong little toddler! Bridger is such a blessing and is so perfect! He fills my heart, he is such a joy to be around. I never knew what people would mean when they said you experience a love like no other when you have a child, until I had my own. He is my entire world. I can't imagine not being able to spend every single day with him. I want to take him everywhere with me, and show him everything that I can. I absolutely LOVE being his mother.

It has been so amazing to see how fast they learn and grow. I knew they grew fast, but not this fast. I feel like the first year of his life was gone with a blink of an eye. I wish I could slow down time just a little and make more time to take in all these moments with him. I want to remember everything! I want to remember the way he sounds as he drinks a bottle (we are about to pull him off bottles), I want to remember that sweet face he has when he cries..I want to remember the smell of him as a baby......I want to remember the way he always opens his mouth and barely lets his tongue hang....I want to remember how he used to snuggle every night with me and fall asleep on my shoulder....I want to remember the laugh he does when he is so tickled! I'm afraid these memories won't be so fresh in a few more years. I am trying to go slower and soak in all of these moments with my sweet love.

1 year ago he was only 4 months going on 5.....such a baby, an infant, pure amazement. He has blessed our family in so many ways. He adds so much fun and laughter to our day, I could have a bad day and just see him smile at me and it all goes away. One simple hug and kiss from him, melt away any worries or fears. How he grabs for my hand when he is scared....or hugs my legs as hard as he can.....are all precious moments I adore.

I am so lucky to have such an amazing husband and father to our son. Once Bridger welcomed our family we grew so much closer, which I never thought would happen. I would always hear stories how stress of a new baby comes between the 2 of you, etc. Of course we have had our times....but it has brought us so much closer. We both love being parents more than anything, words cannot describe the feeling. It is the most rewarding job that we both have held and will continue to hold for the rest of our lives. It really is amazing.

I sometimes catch myself sneaking into Bridgers room at night to caress his face or rub his back while he is sleeping. Every single night since he has been in his own room, I have never gone to bed without opening the door and checking on him, I have to see him and his sweetness before going to bed. Making sure everything is ok...even though I know it is. I kept him in my room till he was 6 months old....and was forced to finally move him into his own room because he was outgrowing the basinett! haha I didn't want my baby that far from me! Thank goodness for video monitors!

I love each and every stage that he goes through.....wait...talk to me again at terrible twos or threes...kidding. I really love seeing him learn new things by himself or with the help of us. He is so smart and his face always lights up to new things.

I can only hope that Ryan and I can teach him everything possible that we can. I hope that I can be someone that he looks up to one day and is proud to call his mom. I don't want to fail or disappoint him. I hope I can make his dreams come true and push him hard to reach his goals. I will always be by his side and be his #1 fan! I want to give him the world and so much more........

Mommy loves you SO much Bridg Bear!!!

*** The face when he cries.....awww!

I love to read other peoples blogs and have so many favorites.....it often breaks my heart to read the stories of these women that have lost a child.....or cannot even conceive...or even worse, cannot conceive with your own child because of a rare disease that is fatal to your children. Sometimes I have to take breaks from reading these blogs because my heart hurts so much for them, but I always feel horrible....they never can take a break.
I often pray for people going thru these hard times.... being a mother as truley changed me, and I believe it has changed me for the best.
Im not sure if it is due to being a new mother, but I can't even stand to hear about or read stories that involve children getting hurt, or worse, dying. I hate it. The world today is such a hard harsh place. I am always so scared that I can't protect Bridger from it all, but we can't live our lives in fear. I have to trust all will be ok, just like all these women in their blogs have done. They are all such inspirations, and I am so happy that I have ran into all of their blogs.