This conference was broken into 3 segments. I didn't really put much thought into it and how they would actually be segments. I have never attended before, I had no idea what to expect or which ones to attend. I thought each each they would just be different speakers talking about whatever. Our friends were able to attend Friday night, we couldn't get a sitter and Ryan had a lot of boat work that he had to get finished with. She was telling me how amazing it was, how informative it was and how we all need to hear this stuff. I was so bummed we missed that night, but super excited for ours the next day. The first night kind of gave you an overview on love language, etc? Or thats how it seemed from her description.
We went Saturday morning and my mom kept Bridg! There weren't alot of couples, but it wasn't overly packed to where it could be overwhelming either. The conference started and it was all live from another state, I want to say North Carolina? I had no clue. So we were watching these couples speak from another location on our big screen here locally. The first couple who spoke were great. They talked about listening to one another and paying attention, learning to show the other spouse that you care, however we need to realize that women just want to talk and men just want to solve the problem and move on. Ha! How true is that?! They talked for awhile and it was great, short and sweet, but good message that got across. Give eachother the respect and time.
The 2nd couple that spoke, are both pastors of their church and have been for as long as they have been married. They were speaking on the terms of "Loving the Stranger" this portion was really intense to me. They started out speaking on how they met, got married and their honeymoon. How everything went awry! Nothing went the way it was suppose to. I thought it was really weird with so much detail about it, but I was listening. They were going into how we show only certain parts of us as we get to know someone, how we slowly let those "water levels lower" and we show more of ourselves, how we need to show all of ourselves. Nothing should be hidden. If things are hidden in a relationship then you will never have a pure honest relationship with your spouse, or yourself. They said they knew something was wrong in the first 10 years of their marriage, but didn't really realize it until after this....
As the husband was explaining this to us on a dry erase board with the vision of a iceberg and the waters lowering - he then begins to explain his own secrets and what he had hidden. He remembered the exact date he went to his wife - told her he wanted a divorce, he wanted out, and he was cheating on her with her best friend and had been for years. He continued on saying how he went to counseling, and eventually she too started going with him. They were trying to talk it out and work it out. She wanted more information, he then told her everything about the affair, which left her leaving once again. He was attending counseling 6 days a week, he was regularly attending for himself more so then anything else. His counselor was telling him that they didn't think that he was revealing all, that there was more he was hiding. He was. He told him. He prayed for him and said he had hoped that his wife would listen to him and he would have courage to tell her. He then went to his wife and she demanded to know everything - he was also addicted to pornography and had been sexually abused as a child. At the moment, he never felt so free. All of his own burdens were no longer there, he tried to carry all of this on his own, hidden. She stuck by him. She said, now they can move forward, fresh, new. I couldn't believe this message. That takes a lot for a person to admit all of that to all these random people time after time, and for a person to forgive and move on. This was not the message I thought I would get out of this, it was so crazy to me. They stressed again, how important it is so be completely honest with your spouse and with yourself. To pray for yourself, to change, to be who you want to be, not to pray for your spouse and how you would like to change them. I may explain it terribly, but everything they said made complete sense! Both Ryan and I were impressed.
The last couple that spoke, spoke on sex. Ha! It was interesting, but a very important aspect of marriage. They had a lot of good points on this as well. Some I was surprised by. It was a quick, simple message in my opinion. We all get it, we understand. haha.
Overall, it was great! I'm sad we missed the other two segments, but maybe when they do another we can attend again .This is all information that is very good to hear. Very good to be reminded about, and excellent source to hear it from someone else.
Marriage is hard work. We will all have trials that we need to work thru. We will always have issues here and there, we are 2 different people, with different opinions, different desires, different views. To mold that into one, sometimes takes more work then usual. Sometimes we all forget that. I love these sort of things, conferences, talks about marriage and points that may help you improve your own. I definitely will be attending more in my future. I like a slap of reality every now and then.
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| Me and my honey! 10 years together this year. <3 |
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