So, turns out after 2 weeks of preschool - it wasnt the one for Bridger. We had been talked to during that 2nd week about his behavior, not listening, not keeping his hands to himself. We even took him to the doctor to talk to the doctor about everything.
Come that 3rd week - Monday - I was called at 930 am saying that Bridger needed to be picked up, he was not controllable. By Tuesday I was called around noon saying that he needed to find another daycare.
I took off a couple days to find a new place and stay home with him as he couldn't start a new place till that following Monday.
So many mixed emotions were happening during all of this. I can always see both sides to every story though too. When I first got called into the directors office, my heart just sank. I already knew what this entailed. I had been down this road before. I listened to everything she was saying, and I understood. I, myself, just do not have any tips I can give. And I wish I could. I can't explain why he doesn't want to switch activities when its time, or why he has a hard time keeping his hands to himself, I don't know why he acts out at some times and not others. I wish I did know.
When we got the call that he needed to picked up I already knew.....the end was that day or that week. That is why I scheduled an appointment with the doctor. I wanted to talk to him about his and his behavior and figure out what we could possible do to get things under control. I was desperate.
When the call finally did come that very next day, I was upset, but I expected it. I just personally felt that 2 weeks wasn't long enough for him to adjust and figure everything out. However I understood from their point of view that they didn't have to time to carve out to deal with his outbreaks or tantrums. BUT I do know that they already labeled my kid and
expected that type of behavior out of him, so even when he did good or did what he was suppose to, they didn't recognize, but the minute he freaked out about something, they jumped on it. I watched Bridger on their web cams the entire morning of the day they asked him to leave and there was one particular little boy that kept messing with Bridger. At first Bridger was really good at just ignoring him and letting this little boy be, but the boy was relentless....kept at him and at him.....so Bridger started chasing him around....running in circle basically, nothing to terrible. At one point the boy fell, Bridger realized that he fell, turned around and went back to him, I could tell that he said something to the boy, and then the boy grabbed Bridger's blanket he was holding and pulled Bridger to the floor and got up and took off running again. And that's not aggressive? Bridger would be playing with someone else and the boy would come up to him and push him...he kept trying to get Bridger to react, and finally he did and the chasing began again. Of course with all the running, etc they get all hyped up. And then...that's even harder to discipline as you are trying to calm them down and get their little hearts to slow down in pace. BUT this whole thing was Bridger's fault. Why, because he has already been labeled.
When my mom picked up him that day she talked to the director and told her this. The director agreed. She mentioned that she just didn't have the resources to deal with this type of child. I get that. But dang. I get they are running a very good preschool and must stay on schedule. I get that they don't have time to mess with a possible adhd child. a hyper child. I get every school is different for every kid. But it still stings when nobody
wants to help. I remember these types of kids when I was in school. I know its annoying. But that's where we are now....what is the right fit for our kid in which he will excel and be with people who want to work with him.
I believe changing a child a lot....their routine....isn't good. I hate it. It always takes him so long to adjust. We chose to try preschool with him, so that he could be ready for Pre-K in the fall. that is why we chose to make this change, however it didn't turn out that way. the doctor told us that adhd children don't always do good with SO much structure. Obviously structure is good - but maybe this school is "too" much. (they were changing activities every 30 mins) But, what is the right school with the right structure? It is all so much. I am trying to make the decisions that I think are good, and really I need to be making them on what is good for him. It is very emotionally draining. I want my kid to learn and excel, but I always know every kid is different and requires different things.
For now, we have him in a home daycare. He has now completed 2 weeks there. Every day is a just a step. We never know what to expect. We know how our child is, and we give props to the ones that actually want to take the time and help. We can't be with him all day. He is at daycare for 10 hours a day. I really need a special person on the other side that is helping him and teaching him and understanding that he isn't just one of those kids that just sit there. He is fully of energy and attitude and everything in between. Again, I cant be there to work that out while im NOT there.....I need somebody that can handle that and work it out. I didn't really want him in a daycare, I wanted him in a school, but again. What I want isn't necessarily what works for him. And honestly - we are so scared to try anything else in fear he will be kicked out again and there is so much change happening all over again....which isn't good for him. It's very frustrating.
As per the doctor's request - we made an appt with the child psychologist. We went to our meeting without Bridger and gave her back ground. This past Friday I took him in for his first evaluation. It went good. We have another one next Saturday. then we go over the results with the doctor and they give us a diagnosis (if there is one). After that we can set up some type of therapy. Which is like a behavioral therapy. Which is what we are looking for. The whole point of this, is to learn his little triggers and what sets him off, etc. Learn how we can deal with him better, basically how to take full control and turn it around.....techniques that obviously we are missing. Something we can do consistently at home, so while he is gone at school or wherever this will hopefully have an affect with him.
Its a lot. We are taking one day at a time.
